Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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