Your tits are I can't wait for
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
