Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
