turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
