I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
