We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
