scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
