It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Randomize
