Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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