if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
