Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
