i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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