Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
im on a boat
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