he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
