I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
