New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
two words...techno handjob
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
