He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize