I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
