question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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