My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
