i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
