don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
