is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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