He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
