If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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