Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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