he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
That accounts for only three of the penises
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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