I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
