She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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