I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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