I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
