I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
