Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
