He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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