Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
