Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
