You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
