They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
