How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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