sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
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