I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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