Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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