He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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