he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
