there's paper in my vomit.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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