one might say we're banned from that church
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
