This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
