I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
