Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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