Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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