and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
