so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
