i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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