do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
