I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
that is very illegal...i love you.
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