If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
