Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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