The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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