I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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