Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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