this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
