He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
