I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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