I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
