that's an acceptable place to lick
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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