Your tits are I can't wait for
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
