I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
