Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't turn off my feet"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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