it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You're like the curious george of whores
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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