The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
