is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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