Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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