I want to make a zoo with you.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
