You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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