Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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