therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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