found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
