I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
smell my finger.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
