oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
