Is it because I queefed?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
